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fanfic100challenge! 024. Family
Title: Family Matters
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II
Pairing: Xigbar/Demyx
Prompt: 024. Family
Word Count: 510
Rating: PG
Summary: Demyx wonders what the Organization would be like as a family. Very dysfunctional, for one thing.
A/N: So. This started as a joke, but if I ever wrote an AU, it would totally be about this. Oh man, like seriously, the mental images — fantastic.
[[Teh Table of Doom]]
“If we were a family, Xigbar, what would we all be?”
It was a question Xigbar wouldn’t have been expecting in a million years, and so he merely stared mutely at the inquisitive Nobody.
Demyx rolled his eyes, obviously anticipating a reaction such as this. “You know, like who’d be the mom and dad and — ”
“I get it, I get it,” Xigbar interrupted before Demyx could name all possible relationships. “What I’m stuck on is why you’d want to think of that.” The idea of being related to everyone else in the Organization was slightly nauseating.
“Why not? You have to be thinking of something during all those mindless scouting missions.”
“Yeah, like the mission,” Xigbar growled, turning away in an attempt to leave.
Demyx blocked his way. “I want to hear what you think, Xigbar.”
“So ask me a better question.”
“How about I give you my answers instead?” Demyx grinned, clearly determined. Before Xigbar could protest, the blond had started explaining his brainstorming.
“Xemnas would be the mom, right, because she’s the one that’s really in charge. And you’d be the dad, Xigbar, because you like to pretend to be in charge when you really aren’t — ”
“Are you implying that Xemnas and I — ”
Demyx held up a hand in front of Xigbar’s face, shutting him up. “Then Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus are various uncles — or maybe two of them could be grandparents, just because. Zexion’s like the really strange cousin you never talk to, and Saïx isn’t really related to us, he’s just a wealthy businessman that’s having an affair with your mother — ”
“Demyx! This is way past bordering on bizarre.”
“And the rest of us are the kids, except Luxord, who’s that one uncle that you just don’t talk about because he’s an alcoholic gambler living in a cardboard box somewhere, and Larxene is that aunt who used to be a porn star and now teaches English as a second language to small children. Marluxia’s the kid that everyone says is gay but that couldn’t be farther from the truth, and you know Axel’s the gay one who slept with Roxas before he found out they were cousins and — ”
“Demyx, stop.” Xigbar had grabbed the Melodious Nocturne by the shoulders and was now shaking him almost violently. “I really did not need to hear all that, and I’m really sorry I did.”
Demyx snickered. “I was just having some fun.”
“It was horrible and mind-scarring. Especially since half of that made sense.” He let go of Demyx, exhaling deeply. “You thought up all that because you were bored?”
Demyx shrugged. “Pretty much, yeah.”
Xigbar made a mental note to give Demyx more work to limit the amount of time he could think. It just…wasn’t safe otherwise.
“So,” Demyx said, looking pleased with himself, “are you going to answer?”
Glaring pointedly, Xigbar remained silent, walking away from the other Nobody once again.
With a smirk, Demyx called after him, “Bye, Daddy!”, laughing at the string of swearing that echoed back down the hall.
end.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II
Pairing: Xigbar/Demyx
Prompt: 024. Family
Word Count: 510
Rating: PG
Summary: Demyx wonders what the Organization would be like as a family. Very dysfunctional, for one thing.
A/N: So. This started as a joke, but if I ever wrote an AU, it would totally be about this. Oh man, like seriously, the mental images — fantastic.
[[Teh Table of Doom]]
“If we were a family, Xigbar, what would we all be?”
It was a question Xigbar wouldn’t have been expecting in a million years, and so he merely stared mutely at the inquisitive Nobody.
Demyx rolled his eyes, obviously anticipating a reaction such as this. “You know, like who’d be the mom and dad and — ”
“I get it, I get it,” Xigbar interrupted before Demyx could name all possible relationships. “What I’m stuck on is why you’d want to think of that.” The idea of being related to everyone else in the Organization was slightly nauseating.
“Why not? You have to be thinking of something during all those mindless scouting missions.”
“Yeah, like the mission,” Xigbar growled, turning away in an attempt to leave.
Demyx blocked his way. “I want to hear what you think, Xigbar.”
“So ask me a better question.”
“How about I give you my answers instead?” Demyx grinned, clearly determined. Before Xigbar could protest, the blond had started explaining his brainstorming.
“Xemnas would be the mom, right, because she’s the one that’s really in charge. And you’d be the dad, Xigbar, because you like to pretend to be in charge when you really aren’t — ”
“Are you implying that Xemnas and I — ”
Demyx held up a hand in front of Xigbar’s face, shutting him up. “Then Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus are various uncles — or maybe two of them could be grandparents, just because. Zexion’s like the really strange cousin you never talk to, and Saïx isn’t really related to us, he’s just a wealthy businessman that’s having an affair with your mother — ”
“Demyx! This is way past bordering on bizarre.”
“And the rest of us are the kids, except Luxord, who’s that one uncle that you just don’t talk about because he’s an alcoholic gambler living in a cardboard box somewhere, and Larxene is that aunt who used to be a porn star and now teaches English as a second language to small children. Marluxia’s the kid that everyone says is gay but that couldn’t be farther from the truth, and you know Axel’s the gay one who slept with Roxas before he found out they were cousins and — ”
“Demyx, stop.” Xigbar had grabbed the Melodious Nocturne by the shoulders and was now shaking him almost violently. “I really did not need to hear all that, and I’m really sorry I did.”
Demyx snickered. “I was just having some fun.”
“It was horrible and mind-scarring. Especially since half of that made sense.” He let go of Demyx, exhaling deeply. “You thought up all that because you were bored?”
Demyx shrugged. “Pretty much, yeah.”
Xigbar made a mental note to give Demyx more work to limit the amount of time he could think. It just…wasn’t safe otherwise.
“So,” Demyx said, looking pleased with himself, “are you going to answer?”
Glaring pointedly, Xigbar remained silent, walking away from the other Nobody once again.
With a smirk, Demyx called after him, “Bye, Daddy!”, laughing at the string of swearing that echoed back down the hall.
no subject
I really should. That would be...awesome. XD If I get a chance to, I'll totally get around to drawing that
and totally turn it in for an art grade. oh my teacher is going to think I'm nutsWell, everyone knows that it's the wife that rules the home these days. lol
My parents tried to make me pack my own lunch. But then they realized I'm far too lazy in the morning and far too willing to mooch off my friends for lunch. XD
no subject
It'll be fiiine. My friend turned in a comic about a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly for an art project once, and the teacher thought it was great. xD Crazy fanart's almost the same. Ha.*nods sagely*
My parents just assume that I'm eating something, whether they see me pack a lunch or not. Half the time I throw cookies, Cheetos, a candy bar, and Poptarts into a bag and call that lunch. xD
no subject
I've actually turned in fanart of Demyx and Axel torturing poor Roxy before. XD I think the crazier the stuff I turn in, the more my teacher loves it. HahaSuch a healthy meal! That's about what I eat when I have to buy lunch, since there's no way I'm eating most of what my school tries to feed us. XD
It moooveeeesno subject
Those are the best kind of art teachers. :DI'm extremely healthy. Like, ALL the time. Today, I had strawberry Jell-o and some peach rings for dinner.
...Our school lunches actually aren't that bad. It's just, lunch periods are shorter than they used to be now, and by the time you get through the line it's like, not even worth buying anything.
no subject
Totally. =DI haven't had Jell-O in like, forever. o.o
It's hit and miss with ours. If you can tell what's in it, it's usually safe. If you can't...you're better off avoiding it. And we have the same problem here, too. Long lines and not enough time.
no subject
Yeah, same here. WE SHOULD PETITION FOR THE...BETTERING OF OVERALL LUNCH EXPERIENCES IN SCHOOLS. Lawlz.
no subject
YEAH! So they can't (try to) feed us unidentifiable slop anymore
that we don't get to eat anyways! Hahano subject
We need a slogan! A COOL slogan.
no subject
Now if only this here ditz could actually come up with decent slogans...rofl
no subject
and run over your PS2 controllers with a vaccuum, AGHand all that good stuff. Well, at least mine does....Blah, me too.
Oh well. It could be like, *insert cool slogan here*
Good enough.